Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Jesus fuck on a pogoing dildo!

Fucking Microsoft.  Today, I had to upgrade a Windows Vista Home Premium machine to Windows 7 Professional.  Microsoft says that you can upgrade from any version of Vista to Windows 7 pro and above.  They're fucking liars.  The installer starts, wastes a metric fuckton of time, and then promptly tells you to go fuck yourself.  Fucking bunch of money-grubbing wankers.  And for the cherry on top of the shit sundae, the fucking email won't import over directly either, or even indirectly.  The user of said machine can't remember their fucking pop3 password to save their life, so that one's on hold until they finally come up with it.

My idea of a smooth upgrade these days is just buying a new fucking computer.  Fuck Microsoft up the ass with a running chainsaw.

Police Dumbassery

Cops shoots self in ass and border patrol agent

Good one, Officer Barbrady.  Stick with the donut shops, you fucktard.

Congressional hearings on Muslims upsetting to Muslims. Who gives a shit?

Seriously, to any Muslims that may read this:  Tough shit.  We've been catching shit from you guys since the Carter days over our support of Isreal.  We've also been pretty much paying for your entirely civilization to flourish over the last 50 years or so, so I wouldn't bitch too much.  After all, when that oil runs out, what will you all do then?  Maybe you can eat those golden minarets you guys keep building over there.

Back to Congress.  Rep. Honda of California seems to believe we shouldn't be focusing on a religious group, because that's like, a violation of their first amendment rights.  Yea, well if a good chunk of that group wasn't actively trying to ruin our shit for us, you might have a point.  I'm not saying every Muslim is a bad person, but honestly, how the fuck do you tell the difference?

It's especially damning whenever the dumb sons of bitches push for Sharia law, or do shit like beheading his wife.  If you folks want to be seen as just people and not threats, stop pushing for sharia law, building mosques at ground zero (a traditional thing Muslims do at sites of great victories,) and the destruction of the basic American way of life.  I sure as fuck don't want our women subjected to the stupid bullshit Muslim women generally get subjected to, like female circumcision.  Seriously, guys?  If your excuse for doing shit like that is "sp they won't derive pleasure from it and feel the need to wander" then you need to reevaluate your abilities in the sack.  If you can't get the job done in the sack, what the hell kind of men are you?  Remember, women aren't camels, they have needs too.

Not that you care about anything but the demands of your so-called god.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Near Misses Fuckery and the State of my Sanity

Holy SHIT today was literally one of those days in which literally nothing went right.  Right from the first step out my front door, everything went completely fucking haywire.  Starting from the drive downtown (in which we (my dad and I) almost got smacked at least 3 times (I stopped counting after the 3rd near miss,) we hit every single fucking red light, and when he finally got to his bank, the drive through was closed.  My dad is 75 years old, and on a walker, so walking inside the bank is a bit of a problem for him, but he did it anyway.  Needless to say, THAT actually went fairly smoothly, as did the other errands I went with him on.  When it got around to time to do my own things today, everything went south.  I mean, really really REALLY fucking south.  We're talking people at the south pole would be like "How the shit can you get more south than us?"  It was certainly pure southness of the south.  You can't get more south than this day was.
Let's start off.  First job, a simple OS reinstall on a local business' server.  Simple, one might say?  Oh, certainly!  It's a pity said business was using a fucking pirated copy of Windows Server 2003, though.  Needless to say, I didn't exactly get THAT one done, even despite the fucking owner hassling me.  I told the dude that I could NOT install unlicensed software, lest I lose my certs, or come to think of it, possibly jail time.  Fuck that guy with a running chainsaw sideways.

Well, on the way to job #2, a local residence.  Almost got hit twice more, by fuckwhistles who were too busy playing with their phones to you know, FUCKING DRIVE.  Seriously, folks? If you're going to drive, put the fucking phone down and IGNORE IT.  If you're gonna text, email, facebook, or look up porn THEN PULL THE FUCK OVER.  I'm REALLY seriously tired of counting bugs in people's front grills while they happily yack away on their mobile device of choice insipidly. 
Job #2 was one of those fucking people who INSIST on looking over your shoulder every step of the way AND TELLING YOU HOW TO DO YOUR JOB.  Seriously, motherfucker, if you know how to fix your shit so well, then WHY IN THE BLOODY DILDO FUCKING HELL DID YOU CALL ME?!?!?!?
What's more, when you're full of shit and the technician tells you what the problem is, and proceeds to fix it, DON'T talk to someone on your phone about how "That guy's wrong, I know what's up, bla bla bla. " - ESPECIALLY when you're full of shit.

Job 3, the last one.  The one I just fucking finished.... I'm not going to discuss that job.  Ever.  Nor am I going to reveal where the bodies are hidden anything about it.

GRAAAAH.  I need a fucking drink.