Near Misses Fuckery and the State of my Sanity

Holy SHIT today was literally one of those days in which literally nothing went right.  Right from the first step out my front door, everything went completely fucking haywire.  Starting from the drive downtown (in which we (my dad and I) almost got smacked at least 3 times (I stopped counting after the 3rd near miss,) we hit every single fucking red light, and when he finally got to his bank, the drive through was closed.  My dad is 75 years old, and on a walker, so walking inside the bank is a bit of a problem for him, but he did it anyway.  Needless to say, THAT actually went fairly smoothly, as did the other errands I went with him on.  When it got around to time to do my own things today, everything went south.  I mean, really really REALLY fucking south.  We're talking people at the south pole would be like "How the shit can you get more south than us?"  It was certainly pure southness of the south.  You can't get more south than this day was.
Let's start off.  First job, a simple OS reinstall on a local business' server.  Simple, one might say?  Oh, certainly!  It's a pity said business was using a fucking pirated copy of Windows Server 2003, though.  Needless to say, I didn't exactly get THAT one done, even despite the fucking owner hassling me.  I told the dude that I could NOT install unlicensed software, lest I lose my certs, or come to think of it, possibly jail time.  Fuck that guy with a running chainsaw sideways.

Well, on the way to job #2, a local residence.  Almost got hit twice more, by fuckwhistles who were too busy playing with their phones to you know, FUCKING DRIVE.  Seriously, folks? If you're going to drive, put the fucking phone down and IGNORE IT.  If you're gonna text, email, facebook, or look up porn THEN PULL THE FUCK OVER.  I'm REALLY seriously tired of counting bugs in people's front grills while they happily yack away on their mobile device of choice insipidly. 
Job #2 was one of those fucking people who INSIST on looking over your shoulder every step of the way AND TELLING YOU HOW TO DO YOUR JOB.  Seriously, motherfucker, if you know how to fix your shit so well, then WHY IN THE BLOODY DILDO FUCKING HELL DID YOU CALL ME?!?!?!?
What's more, when you're full of shit and the technician tells you what the problem is, and proceeds to fix it, DON'T talk to someone on your phone about how "That guy's wrong, I know what's up, bla bla bla. " - ESPECIALLY when you're full of shit.

Job 3, the last one.  The one I just fucking finished.... I'm not going to discuss that job.  Ever.  Nor am I going to reveal where the bodies are hidden anything about it.

GRAAAAH.  I need a fucking drink.